Recipes for Man Food
**Men don't use measurements. We throw things together**
Best Grilled Chicken Sandwich Ever Made
Start your grill. Not too hot. At home, we use a Traeger, and it does a damn fine job.
Season your chicken breasts to taste. (We prefer Slap Ya Mama Seasoning).
Fry up some thick cut bacon. (Walmat's Value Thick-cut bacon is manliest bacon on the planet).
Grill your buns with some butter. (Add garlic salt if you want).
Slice up a ripe tomato. (Yeah, men eat tomatoes).
One thick slice of pepper-jack cheese will do. Throw it on the chicken just before you take it off the grill.
Add a slick of iceburg lettuce if you want.
Put it all together on your bun.
Add a thick layer of Macho Mayo, and dig in. Trust us. It's ridiculous.
Best Double Bacon Cheeseburger. Period.
See the above recipe, but switch out the chicken for some extra thick hamburger patties.
Real men don't eat two burgers. They make one the size of two.
'Holy Crap' Sweet Corn on the Cob.
You don't know how to cook corn on the cob? Oh boy. OK, here's how you make the best ever...
Get a big ass pot of water. Enough to submerge all your corn.
Boil the water.
Add the corn.
Bring the water to a boil again.
Reduce heat to low, and cover it with a lid, hub cap, or cookie sheet. Whatever you have lying around.
Leave it for at least ten minutes. Then remove it, and smother your corn in Macho Mayo. If it's not the best corn on the cob you've ever had, you're probably not a real man.
Best Damn Guacamole. Period.
4 ripe avacodoes. If you don't know how to pick a good avacadoe, then we wonder what the hell you've been doing all those summer days. (OK, here's how. Find ones that give a little when you lightly squeeze them. If they don't give, they're not ripe. If they feel too soft, then you're gonna have crappy guac).
1 roma tomato, chopped.
1 whole jalepeno, chopped.
1/2 of a red onion, chopped.
1/2 of a colored bell pepper. (Not required, but damn good).
A small handful of chopped cilantro.
1 Lime, sliced in half.
Slap Ya Mama seasoning; 'bout half a shot glass or so.
Cumin; 'bout one pinch of Skoal's worth.
Macho Mayo: a big spoonful of the divine substance.
Splash of orange juice: 'bout two shot glasses worth.
Put all this stuff in a bowl except for the lime. Then squeeze the juice out of the lime.
Mash it all together and make sure it's mixed well. Eat it with your choice of Tortilla Chips. Our favorite is the Tosito's Artisan Roasted Garlic and Black Bean. (We know, it doesn't sound manly, but dude, these are the best tortilla chips on the planet!)